Wednesday 24 October 2012

*Physical Challenge. Break out the Bum Bags!


*Ok everyone.... So we've been hearing a lot about a recent spate of 'Robberies' down at a few of our past events. ~Obvs we are DEAD concerned about this so have tailored our latest P.C in accordance.

:::PHYSICAL CHALLENGE:::
 *BREAK OUT THE FUCKIN' BUM~BAGS YOU MAD 'EDS!*

The best way to guarantee your goods and belongings will be truly safe from Moochers & Scoundrels is by donning a 'Fanny Pack' and not by lobbing your coats, bags or other stuff behind the decks, the check-in desk or in any other dark corner of the club, leaving them unattended whilst you bounce around like a loon gettin your drench on......

If you're planning on visiting Super Mario Land on Saturday please make the correct preparations. Bowser or Wario could be lurking, waiting, ready to plunder your wares given any opportunity.

*TIPS ON SECURING YOURSELF A BUM BAG.

Now I thought all sane people owned a bumbag (I myself have a whole drawer full) but after asking about, it turns out I was sadly mistaken. Don't worry though.... There are ways and means of getting hold of such a device at short notice. If you can't borrow one off a pal / relative, find one in a charity shop for cheap or if your not prepared to shell out 20 bucks for one from American Apparel they can be easily acquired for free. Here's few ideas.....

TRY:. Raiding the first aid cupboard at work.... These medical fanny packs are all the rage at the moment. Empty the contents of any unnecessary guff being careful to keep hold of anything that could come in useful on the night.... bandages, smelling salts, superglue, strange potions, blades etc...
OR. Mooch into town and dial 999 claiming a bogus emergency. When a bicycle paramedic turns up (pretty damn quick to respond these day) simply boot 'em off his/her bike, steal their bumbag and politely explain that you need it to get into Wet Play at the cheaper rate and that Randy Marsh said it was ok. They will surely understand if you break it down like that. If they don't, give 'em a flyer, directions to the venue and tell them to stop taking life so seriously. They, of course will have to pay a tenner in. Won't have a bum bag on will they?
OR. Head towards studentsville and keep your eyes out for someone like our Josh here. Yes this method does involve mild physical violence too, but it'll be well worth it when he gives up that lovely little fluorescent number. P.S don't even think about wearing it like that tho... you will be met with frowns at the door.

*RIGHT THEN GANG LET'S QUICKLY SUM THIS SHIT UP

*BUM BAG ON THE NIGHT = £7 ENTRY AND NO GETTIN YOUR SHIT TAXED!
*NO BUM BAG = £10 PLEASE AND MIND YOUR MARBLES!
Of course you could always...*PURCHASE A TICKET IN ADVANCE =  BUM BAG OPTIONAL.

TICKETS ON SKIDDLE                 TICKETS VIA PAYPAL

PLEASE NOTE!!! For those who are not into packing their fanny but still want a stress free night Kraak are gonna be running a :::CLOAK-ROOM::: in the venue. 
*This also means that NO, it is not alright for you to leave your coat behind anywhere unless you want crackhead gnomes (i.e. us) going through your pockets.

:::: See you Saturday night / Sunday mornin! :::::

ITS MO EFFIN HALLOWEEN VIBES TOO SO FEEL FREE TO DRESS FOR THE OCCASSION!

This is what we're talking about! Everyone knows that bum bags make an ideal tuck accessory. You will surely be the envy of the party if you rock up in this tidy ensemble and you wont have to worry about your I-phone ten going missing. Awesome stance too Norman, Extra merit awarded....
For fucks sake Rolando! Packing heat again?!?!? Not cool man....
Good job your tucked in else you'd be getting launched.


Wet Play Pals x

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